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BOOK THREE
INTERNAL CONSOLATION

Liber Tertius
De interna consolatine.

Chapter 52
A MAN OUGHT NOT TO CONSIDER HIMSELF WORTHY OF CONSOLATION, BUT RATHER DESERVING OF CHASTISEMENT

THE DISCIPLE - LORD, I am not worthy of Your consolation or of any spiritual visitation. Therefore, You treat me justly when You leave me poor and desolate. For though I could shed a sea of tears, yet I should not be worthy of Your consolation. Hence, I deserve only to be scourged and punished because I have offended You often and grievously, and have sinned greatly in many things. In all justice, therefore, I am not worthy of any consolation. But You, O gracious and merciful God, Who do not will that Your works should perish, deign to console Your servant beyond all his merit and above human measure, to show the riches of Your goodness toward the vessels of mercy. For Your consolations are not like the words of men.

Cap. 52.
Quod homo non reputet se consolatione dignum, sed magis verberibus dignum.

1. Domine, non sum dignus consolatione tua, nec aliqua spirituali visitatione: et ideo juste mecum agis, quando me inopem et desolatum relinquis. Si enim ad instar maris lacrymas fundere possem, adhuc consolatione tua dignus non essem. Unde nihil dignus sum quam flagellari et puniri, quia graviter et sŠpe te offendi, et in multis valde deliqui. Ergo vera pensata ratione, nec minima sum dignus consolatione. Sed tu clemens et misericors, quia non vis perire opera tua, ad ostendendum divitias bonitatis tuŠ in vasa misericordiŠ tuŠ, etiam propter omne proprium meritum dignaris consolari servum tuum supra humanum modum. TuŠ enim consolationes non sunt sicut humanŠ confabulationes.

What have I done, Lord, that You should confer on me any heavenly comfort? I remember that I have done nothing good, but that I have always been prone to sin and slow to amend. That is true. I cannot deny it. If I said otherwise You would stand against me, and there would be no one to defend me. What have I deserved for my sins except hell and everlasting fire? In truth, I confess that I am deserving of all scorn and contempt. Neither is it fitting that I should be remembered among Your devoted servants. And although it is hard for me to hear this, yet for truth's sake I will allege my sins against myself, so that I may more easily deserve to beg Your mercy.

2. Quid egi, Domine, ut mihi conferres aliquam cŠlestem consolationem? Ego nihil boni egisse recolo me, sed semper ad vitia pronum, et ad emendationem pigrum fuisse. Verum est, et abnegare non possum; si aliter dicerem, tu stares contra me, et non esset qui defenderet. Quid merui pro peccatis meis, nisi infernum, et ignem Šternum? In veritate confiteor, quoniam dignus sum omni ludibrio et contemtu; nec decet me inter devotos tuos commarari. Et licet hoc Šgre audiam, tamen adversum me pro veritate peccata mea arguam, ut facilius misericordiam tuam valeam impetrare.  
What shall I say, guilty as I am and full of all confusion? My tongue can say nothing but this alone: "I have sinned, O Lord, I have sinned; have mercy on me and pardon me. Suffer me a little that I may pour out my grief, before I go to that dark land that is covered with the shadow of death." What do you especially demand of a guilty and wretched sinner, except that he be contrite and humble himself for his sins? In true sorrow and humility of heart hope of forgiveness is born, the troubled conscience is reconciled, grace is found, man is preserved from the wrath to come, and God and the penitent meet with a holy kiss.   3. Quid dicam reus, et omni confusione plenus? Non habeo os loquendi, nisi hoc tantum verbum: Peccavi, Domine, peccavi: miserere mei, ignosce mihi. Sine me paululum, ut plangam dolorem meum, antequam vadam ad terram tenebrosam, et opertam mortis caligine. Quid tam maxime a reo et misero peccatore requiris nisi ut conteratur et humiliet se pro delictis suis? In vera contritione, et cordis humiliatione nascitur spes veniŠ, reconciliatur perturbata conscientia, recuperatur gratia perdita, tuetur homo a futura ira, et occurrunt sibi mutuo in osculo sancto Deus et pťnitens anima. 
To You, O Lord, humble sorrow for sins is an acceptable sacrifice, a sacrifice far sweeter than the perfume of incense. This is also the pleasing ointment which You would have poured upon Your sacred feet, for a contrite and humble heart You have never despised. Here is a place of refuge from the force of the enemy's anger. Here is amended and washed away whatever defilement has been contracted elsewhere.  4. Humilis peccatorum contritio acceptabile tibi est, Domine, sacrificium, longe suavius odorans in conspectu tuo, quam thuris incesum. Hoc est gratum etiam unguentum, quod sacris pedibus tuis infundi volusti, quia cor contritum, et humiliatum nunquam despexisti. Ibi est locus refugii a facie irŠ inimici; ibi emendatur et abluitur quidquid aliunde contractum est in inquinatum.
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