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BOOK THREE
INTERNAL CONSOLATION

Liber Tertius
De interna consolatine.

Chapter 48
THE DAY OF ETERNITY
AND THE DISTRESSES OF THIS LIFE

THE DISCIPLE - O MOST happy mansion of the city above! O most bright day of eternity, which night does not darken, but which the highest truth ever enlightens! O day, ever joyful and ever secure, which never changes its state to the opposite! Oh, that this day shine forth, that all these temporal things come to an end! It envelops the saints all resplendent with heavenly brightness, but it appears far off as through a glass to us wanderers on the earth.

Cap. 48.
De die æternitatis,
et hujus vitæ angustiis.

1. Supernæ civitatis mansio beatissima. O, dies æternitatis clarissima, quam nox non obscurat, sed summa veritas semper irradiat. Dies semper læta, semper secura et nunquam statum mutans in contraria. O, utinam dies illa illuxisset, et cuncta hæc temporalia finem accepissent. Lucet quidem Sanctis perpetua claritate splendida, sed non nisi a longe per speculum peregrinanatibus in terra.

 

The citizens of heaven know how joyful that day is, but the exiled sons of Eve mourn that this one is bitter and tedious. The days of this life are short and evil, full of grief and distress. Here man is defiled by many sins, ensnared in many passions, enslaved by many fears, and burdened with many cares. He is distracted by many curiosities and entangled in many vanities, surrounded by many errors and worn by many labors, oppressed by temptations, weakened by pleasures, and tortured by want.   2. Norunt cæli cives, quam gaudiosa sit illa; gemunt exules filii Evæ quod amara et tædiosa sit ista. Dies hujus temporis parvi et mali, pleni doloribus et angustiis: ubi homo multis peccatis inquinatur, multis passionibus irretitur, multis timoribus stringitur, multis curis distenditur, et multis curiositatibus distrahitur, multis vanitatibus implicatur, multis erroribus circumfunditur, multis laboribus atteritur, multis tentationibus gravatur, deliciis enervatur, egestate cruciatur.
Oh, when will these evils end? When shall I be freed from the miserable slavery of vice? When, Lord, shall I think of You alone? When shall I fully rejoice in You? When shall I be without hindrance, in true liberty, free from every grievance of mind and body? When will there be solid peace, undisturbed and secure, inward peace and outward peace, peace secured on every side? O good Jesus, when shall I stand to gaze upon You? When shall I contemplate the glory of Your kingdom? When will You be all in all to me? Oh, when shall I be with You in that kingdom of Yours, which You have prepared for Your beloved from all eternity? I am left poor and exiled in a hostile land, where every day sees wars and very great misfortunes. 3. O, quando erit finis horum multorum laborum? Quando liberabor a misera servitute vitiorum? Quando memorabor, Domine, tui solius? Quando ad plenum lætabor in te? Quando ero sine omni impedimento in vera libertate, sine omni gravamine mentis, et corporis? Quando erit pax solida, pax imperturbabilis et secura pax intus et foris, pax ab omni parte firma? Jesu bone, quando stabo ad videndum te? Quando contemplabor regni tui gloriam? Quando eris mihi omnia in omnibus? O, quando ero tecum in regno tuo, quod præparasit dilectis tuis ab æterno? Relictus sum pauper et exul in terra hostili, ubi bella quotidiana et infortunia maxima.
Console my banishment, assuage my sorrow. My whole desire is for You. Whatever solace this world offers is a burden to me. I desire to enjoy You intimately, but I cannot attain to it. I wish to cling fast to heavenly things, but temporal affairs and unmortified passions bear me down. I wish in mind to be above all things, but I am forced by the flesh to be unwillingly subject to them. Thus, I fight with myself, unhappy that I am, and am become a burden to myself, while my spirit seeks to rise upward and my flesh to sink downward.

4. Consolare exilium meum, mitiga dolorem meum, quia ad te suspirat omne desiderium meum. Nam onus totum mihi est, quidquid hic mundus offert ad solatium, desidero te intime frui, sed nequeo apprehendere. Opto inhærere cælestibus, sed deprimunt res temporales, et immortificatæ passiones. Mente omnibus rebus superesse opto, carni autem invite subesse cogor. Sic ego infelix homo mecum pugno et factus sum mihimetipsi gravis, dum spiritus sursum, et caro quærit esse deorsum.

Oh, what inward suffering I undergo when I consider heavenly things; when I pray, a multitude of carnal thoughts rush upon me! O my God, do not remove Yourself far from me, and depart not in anger from Your servant. Dart forth Your lightning and disperse them; send forth Your arrows and let the phantoms of the enemy be put to flight. Draw my senses toward You and make me forget all worldly things. Grant me the grace to cast away quickly all vicious imaginings and to scorn them. Aid me, O heavenly Truth, that no vanity may move me. Come, heavenly Sweetness, and let all impurity fly from before Your face. Pardon me also, and deal mercifully with me, as often as I think of anything besides You in prayer. For I confess truly that I am accustomed to be very much distracted. Very often I am not where bodily I stand or sit; rather, I am where my thoughts carry me. Where my thoughts are, there am I; and frequently my thoughts are where my love is. That which naturally delights, or is by habit pleasing, comes to me quickly. 5. O, quid intus patior, dum mente cælestia tracto et mox carnalium tentationum et cogitationum turba occurit oranti. Deus meus, ne elongeris a me neque declines in ira a servo tuo. Fulgura coruscationem tuam et dissipa eas, emitte safittas tuas et conturbentur omnes phantasiæ inimici. Recollige omnes sensus meo ad te; fac me oblivisci omnium mundanorum; da cito abjicere et contemnere phantasmata vitiorum. Succurre mihi, æterna Veritas, ut nulla me moveat vanitas. Adveni, cælestis suavitas, et fugiat a facie tua omnis impuritas. Ignosce quoque mihi, et misericorditer indulge, quoties præter te aliud in oratione revolvo. Confiteor etenim vere, quia valde distracte me habere consuevi. Nam ibi multoties non sum, ubi corporaliter sto, aut sedeo, sed ibi magis sum, ubi cogitationibus feror. Ibi sum, ubi cogitatio mea est; ubi est frequenter cogitatio mea, ibi est id quod amo. Hoc mihi cito occurrit, quod naturaliter delectat aut ex usu placet.
Hence You Who are Truth itself, have plainly said: "For where your treasure is, there is your heart also." If I love heaven, I think willingly of heavenly things. If I love the world, I rejoice at the happiness of the world and grieve at its troubles. If I love the flesh, I often imagine things that are carnal. If I love the spirit, I delight in thinking of spiritual matters. For whatever I love, I am willing to speak and hear about. Blessed is the man who for Your sake, O Lord, dismisses all creatures, does violence to nature, crucifies the desires of the flesh in fervor of spirit, so that with serene conscience he can offer You a pure prayer and, having excluded all earthly things inwardly and outwardly, becomes worthy to enter into the heavenly choirs.  
6. Unde tu, Veritas æterna, aperte dixisti: Ubi enim est thesaurus tuus, ibi est et cor tuum. Si cælum diligo, libenter de cælestibus penso. Si mundum amo, felicitatibus mundi congaudeo, et de adversitatibus ejus tristor. Si carnem diligo, quæ carnis sunt sæpissime imaginor. Si spiritum amo, de spiritualibus cogitare delector. Quæcumque enim diligo, de his libenter loquor et audio, atque talium imagines mecum ad domum reporto. Sed beatus ille homo qui propter te, Domine, omnibus creaturis abeundi licentiam tribuit, qui naturæ vim facit et concupiscentias carnis fervore spiritus crucifigit, ut serenata conscientia, puram tibi orationem offerat, dignusque sit angelicis interesse choris, omnibus terrenis foris et intus exclusis.
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